Unrequited
by Feygan
Summary: All Grown Up. Chucky has a big realization and doesn't know what to do about it. Chucky/Tommy Completed April 2004.


Title: Unrequited  
Author: Feygan  
Fandom: Rugrats: All Grown Up  
Pairing: Chuckie/Tommy  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Rugrats, no matter what I've done to them.  
LiveJournal: .com  
Contact:

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He had never really thought about it before, but his love for Tommy was always just kind of there. Some might have confused it for hero worship, but as the years passed, it didn't fade away into plain friendliness, but grew into something more, an inexplicable driving need to be as close to Tommy as possible.

They had been friends since they were babies, and it was pretty much assumed that they would stay friends _forever_. But Chuckie wasn't a hundred percent sure that they would friendship would last if he told Tommy what he really felt for him.

The realization of what he felt about Tommy had started off innocuously enough with a conversation between him and Tommy's new girlfriend, Brenda.

"You know, he always talks about you," she said.

"Oh yeah?" He took a big bite out of his sandwich, not even bothering to look up from his comic book. He'd been brown bagging it for most of the month, ever since he got a look at the scheduled school lunch list. It had turned his stomach and made his allergies flare in psychosomatic readiness.

"Whenever we're together, it's always 'Chuckie said this,' or 'Chuckie said that.' It's kind of annoying," Brenda said.

_You're kind of annoying_, he thought, though he managed not to say it, barely. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. I think you guys shouldn't hang out so much together for awhile," she said. "People are starting to talk."

He glanced up at her through the lenses of his glasses and the fringe of hair that fell across his forehead. "About what?"

"About how _you're_ really his boyfriend." She crossed her arms over her chest and slumped backward a little in her chair. "I know he loves me, but still... there's a lot of rumors, you know? It kind of makes me have to wonder."

Chuckie felt his heart begin to pound. _No way, no fucking way_. "You're lying," he said.

"Nuh uh," Brenda said. "Do you think I like it that everyone thinks I broke up the 'Wonder Duo?' You guys were like the idols of all the gay kids in the school, being so open with your relationship and everything, or at least, that's what everyone thinks. Now I'm the bitch that broke you guys up, and everyone hates me. It sucks mass ass."

"How can we be a gay couple when we're not even gay?" Chuckie asked, forcing his eyes back down on his comic book. He didn't want to look at her with her perfect prettiness. She was just the kind of girl that he had always thought Tommy would have--should have. It always hurt to look right at her, and he didn't know why.

"I have no idea, but I'm tired of being the bad guy," she said. "Me and Tommy are happy. We want to stay happy. So why don't you just back off for awhile, huh? Just let things cool off a little and people will get over the whole thinking you guys are gay thing and realize that you've always just been friends. Back off a little. It's the best thing you can do for Tommy."

Feeling it mush between his fingers, Chuckie saw that he had crushed his sandwich in his hands. "I don't want to talk to you anymore," he said, standing up. He tossed his ruined sandwich into the paper bag, grabbed his comic book, and walked away.

He really didn't like Brenda, especially when what she had said made sense.

.

Lying in his bed that night, Chuckie couldn't force himself to sleep. He just felt like he'd been slugged hard in the stomach. It was hard even to breathe.

The realization that he was in love with his best friend was slamming its way into his brain, and he didn't like it.

For as long as he could remember, he had always believed that Tommy was the best person in his life. Tommy was just so strong and brave and smart and clever and...

"Oh God," he whispered, "I am _so_ gay." It didn't really come as much of a shock.

On some level, he had always kind of known that he was different from everyone else, so being gay was just a part of who he was and he could accept that. What he couldn't accept was that his weirdness might cause trouble for Tommy, shining, wonderful Tommy.

_I won't say a word to him_, he thought. _I'll pretend everything is the same as always and he'll never have to know_.

Filled with a new resolution, he decided that he was going to distance himself a little from Tommy.

Brenda was a bitch, but she had been right. If there were rumors about him and Tommy, then something had to be done because Tommy didn't need that kind of trouble in his life. He deserved better.

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The next week, sitting with Phil and Lil at their usual table, Chuckie resolutely kept his eyes from crossing the crowded room to focus on Tommy like they wanted to. He was playing it cool, letting their friendship fade a little to a more normal standard. It was for Tommy's own good.

Besides, it hadn't been his idea that Tommy not sit with them at lunch anymore. Brenda had been the one to drag Tommy off to her table and her friends, and Tommy hadn't put up any kind of fight, though the look he'd given Chuckie as he was led away had almost... but no. Tommy was happy now, with Brenda and her clique, and Chuckie wasn't going to do anything to ruin it for him.

The feelings he had for Tommy didn't mean anything and he couldn't let them be the center of his whole world. Tommy was his best friend, and he was straight, which meant that if he said anything, it would just screw up everything, and he wasn't going to do that.

Sighing heavily, Chuckie turned back to Phil and Lil and their roundabout conversation that was spoken in what he liked to term "Twinspeak," which basically meant that they were the only ones that could understand their babble. Usually when they fell into Twinspeak, he and Tommy would joke and have their own stuff to talk about, but he was alone now.

He picked at his sandwich with his fingers, leaving crumbs and bits of meat and cheese all over his part of the table. He just felt so tired all of a sudden. Tired and lonely without his best friend.

.

Across the cafeteria, Tommy watched Chuckie and wondered why Chuckie didn't want to be his friend anymore. It hurt so bad not to have Chuckie to talk to whenever he wanted, and, well, Brenda was nice and everything, but she was just his girlfriend, she wasn't his _best friend_, not like Chuckie had always been.

He just couldn't understand what was happening, but for some reason Chuckie didn't want to talk to him anymore or hang out. And whenever he tried to talk to him, Chuckie got this distant look in his eye and would eventually just turn away. He just couldn't understand it.

Sighing heavily, he turned back to Chris and Tina, Brenda's friends, and tried to ignore the weight of his girlfriend leaning on his arm, cuddling against him. He just felt so tired all of a sudden.

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=THE END==


End file.
